There was the last man, very close to heaven; he didn’t know he was the first.
He climbed the mountain after days struggling with wind, rain and pressure, they where only a reflection of the battle of that man’s inside. “The hardest thing was to take a decision” – he thought while he was at the top – I realize I have nothing to lose as I have nothing indeed, I‘ve never had. Love was gone when my father died; gone since my friends took their way looking for passion.
I stayed, I was confused, and didn’t know what to do, I felt so lonesome among people, and the uncertainty’s future scared me. I wanted to follow society’s rules: work, have things, have children, have even more things, then have a bit more things and finally have a peaceful death; however I was never satisfied, I’ve never desire it, I searched for love and found lies, unfaithfulness and hypocrisy. How could I base my life on that falseness? That’s why I came here, the highest point in the earth to talk to you God, I want answers as my questions are blowing in my chest and ignorance hurts. Here, where no one can see us, talk to me Father, I’m the smaller of your sons and the most eager, let me hear you, talk about me and tell me what to do, I don’t trust in myself, my life and my heart I give to you, I’m lost and out of place, help me to understand your mysterious ways. Take a look at me God, I’ve fought against the elements to get here, I’m more scared at your silence than a white death in the snow. What should I do? How do I give love when everyone is blocking me? I’m not any different to a dog or at the bird, not different from the river or the tree; but still don’t know how to follow my destiny; the bird sings and flies over the sky and that’s its mission; the river goes smooth and sometimes violent to get to the sea, and that’s its mission; Father: What’s mine?
I’ve born poor and I’m not interested in richness, I live with love for anyone and have no boundaries to love. I live as the bear lives, as the sun lives. You have created me great Universe, I asked you to come here. While I was very happy floating in my mother’s womb I forgot why I asked you to come, so I arrived without memories. I’m a good man, not very intelligent but with a gentle soul, I trust in people as I know there is divinity within. I’m here for releasing, please give me the “how”, give me the way, I will sin the same if I don’t share the light whom lives in darkness as if I let the light dies as it never existed.
At the very top of the mountain chain, in his knees, the man put his hands over his face and stared to cry severely , “help me to understand”, “ I trust” he whispered while his tears were falling frozen on the snow. The cold air made the man shake since the very bones, but nothing will stop him, he stayed there until he slept. Thousand knifes sticking in his face, hands and feet, on his knees, he held to himself and his faith, his heart was slowly beating as the hope, his breathing was so flighty as the slowly flakes covering him.Take me to you if that’s what you want – he was saying in his mind – take my whole life and do what you sacred will decides, if you want me to stay, I’ll stay, just help me to understand, even better God, expand my faith, help me to believe, God, brother, help me to love to the end.
Inside his soul but out of himself, a strong, gentle and protective voice talked; body feeling where strange and ambiguous, electricity, heat, movement without control, colours and sparkles, everything was involved in a peace aura, then the voice said: “Have you come this far to find answers? Have you risk your body-temple to calm your curiosity? My words are full of truth when I say my brother and son, you are inside of me, and I’m inside of you, there was not necessary to climb here and be cold my child, it was just enough to close your eyes, take a deep breath, be quiet for a while y learn to wait, the whole universe is in your heart, and you better be like the dog is or like the bird is, instead of your heart be corrupted because of gold or be rusted with ambition. My brother and son, open you heart and listen, follow your intuition rather tan reason, the only truth is love, if you have ears then listen.”
Inside the man’s chest, a blood and light waterfall filled him with life and goodness, he wanted to thank to Father/Mother/God/Universe, but his throat was closed and only silence was coming out from it, he closed his eyes and looked inside, he travelled through stars clouds, the sun was flaming full of glow giving heat and life, he passed close to the love’s planet and his heart was inflated with a pink gas, then he saw a blue planet with a marvellous pearl on the side, shining, wet, in movement, he felt attracted to the blue, he saw the ocean, the desert, the ice and the people, a great mountain; he went to it, flying through the sky, got close and a shape on the rocks he saw.
That shape was him, he just realized; weak, fragile, like lost child full of fear, he smiled when he saw himself, and then he cried, he was exactly as he always described himself: as another creature, like an animal, as the smaller God’s son, little and fine like a flower that opens up in the spring; he observes for a while: the inside’s man looking his own flesh and feeling his soul, and from his very soul a great glow blinded him, was an emotion transformed into words saying: “I love you”.
Back in his body, as he recalled this dream where God talked to him, his Heart was beating very fast; he felt like a new door was open, an unfolded truth was now clear, a secret river coming in to refresh his inner self, he was still like a child but now stronger and faithful about the future.
“Thank you Father” – exited he whispered to himself – thank you for talking to me, thanks for answering my clamour, thanks for taking a look for your littlest child, I’m filled with light and clearness, a thousand colours rainbow my confusion has became. Father you know I’m small but my soul gets bigger with your voice, my heart is infinite, to share, to pray. I’m going to go down the mountain, the God’s door, and back to the world, to share the good news from the space, from God’s home where I’ve been.
The man opened his eyes, and the cold was gone, the wind was gentle and Light, and the snow disappeared, the sun was so close that he could reach it. How long did I sleep? – the man thought – the flowers where filling the field as he went down grassland, full coloured birds flying through the sky, and the reflection of the sun in the lake, like stars dancing on the water.
It was spring.
The last man said: I don’t know the future, I live the present, I feel the life and walk through it, I am happy.
I am.
I am God.
I am love
I am the world.
I am
I am!
The picture above is taken from Saulo Piñeyro's gallery, any of the people pictured is the interviewed, however it shows pretty well the image of a Nene lover.
